love

i'm having visions of wilson at home. i walk past the boys' room and i can't help but think of him hanging out with C playing cars or beyblades, or learning how to play magic. i wonder who he plays with in the orphanage, if he has a best friend. when i'm playing outside with the girls, i picture him joining in our chasing games, or teaming up with C against me in a game of soccer. i wonder if he loves the outdoors like we do, if he even gets a chance to play outside often. while i'm helping C and L with their homework, i picture wilson sitting (standing, flying past me on his heelys to get some yogurt from the fridge) working right alongside his siblings. i think about L walking into school with him, showing him the ropes. i wonder if he'll struggle with school too. i have no idea if he can even read. at nighttime, i miss tucking him in. i wonder how he goes to sleep now. is he afraid of the dark, or does he enjoy the nighttime because all is quiet. we've dealt with three children who came home very afraid of the dark and not wanting to go to sleep. they no longer have sleep issues, they feel safe and secure, they know they are loved. 

i want wilson to feel safe and loved. i want him to come home. it doesn't surprise me i want him home, but i do find it interesting how the heart has such a capacity to grow and stretch and fit everyone in, in huge amounts, no matter how near or far... we are designed for love and connection.

the hunger for love is much more difficult to remove than the hunger for bread - mother teresa