good things come to those who wait

it's hard to wait. so very hard. i am filled with a desire to run to sweet wilson and let him know how very loved he is. i want to scoop him up and twirl around until we are both too dizzy to keep going and collapse on the floor laughing. unless he gets motion sickness, in which case i will skip all that and go straight to playing with cars and coloring and trying to get to know this little boy whose one photo i have stared at seemingly a million times. the longer we wait, the harder it is. and i know he has waited longer. i imagine how hard it is for him, that's the most difficult part of it all. i long to give this child a family, a home, and surround him with love and acceptance. i don't require perfection, acceptance or even love in return. i was thinking about this last night actually, as i reflected on our three youngest daughters. it is very clear that two of our youngest children know how to love, and are open to giving and receiving love and family. it comes more easily to them, than it does for one of our young daughters. and that's ok because i look at each of them individually, and i meet them where they are. i think that is the key to unconditional love. staying away from comparisons and loving each child as the unique spirit they are. every day i strive to be a better person and i can see huge growth and progress in each of us, including myself. i'm a better mom today than i was yesterday. my children are at various stages, and i adore them all. it doesn't matter who does their homework first, who remembers to do something without being asked, who comes running and wraps their arms around me first when i walk in the door. each night i enjoy time with my children individually and i focus on them alone. it reminds me to love each stage and each spirit. so dear sweet wilson, i love you already just as you are, and i cannot wait to meet you! 

fall and falling...

i love fall... it's my favorite time of year. i love the smell of october and the way the leaves crunch under my feet. i love sunshine warming me on a crisp and otherwise cool day. i love the beautiful leaves as they change from greens to bright oranges, reds and yellows. everything looks so pretty and inviting to my senses. i wish i could share my favorite time of year with sweet wilson. how i long to bring him home and have him join in our park adventures, carving pumpkin messiness and have him help me bake sweet treats on a cold day. i realized something else the past few days, and that is i am falling in love with the idea of sweet wilson. when you only have a photo and just a few pieces of information, it's easy to let your imagination run wild. i have no idea how close my dreams are to reality. i don't know if wilson is happy and ready for a family to call his own. i know that no matter how he feels, happy or scared, excited or anxious, i have enough love to hold him and help him through it. not too long ago i thought i would be preparing to travel and meet wilson for the first time soon. today i'm not sure when i'm traveling, but i am ready. i am anxious myself to meet the sweet little love that stole my heart and made me think of our ever expanding family as not quite complete yet. 

sweet wilson,
i can't wait to meet you. we long for the day we get to look into your eyes and say "i love you". you are in my every thought, my dreams and my heart.
xoxoxox

a special message from your brothers, sweet wilson

you are loved so very much!

getting closer...things to do

must make photo book... think about packing (light)... teach grandparents how to use skype on my computer... getting excited. and a little nervous to leave most of the children at home. but mostly excited to meet our sweet wilson.

i'm continuing to practice being patient, though it's definitely not a strength of mine. i am lucky though that i have 6 children to keep me busy! it's hard to miss a child you love with all your heart, though you haven't even met him yet, but i do know it will happen soon and i am filling my time with fun activities with the kids. i am ready, so ready to meet you, wilson!

dance troupe african dancing

tonight we took sister L to an african dance troupe workshop where she learned traditional african dancing. she is going to try out for the dance troupe in october so we thought this would be a great opportunity for her to get comfortable with the dancing and instructors, and just simply being around other kids and people she doesn't know. those things are still so hard sometimes. 

she was fairly uncertain at first, but once things got going, i saw a fire in her eyes! she was grinning ear to ear, and trying her best. they moved fast, so fast, and a few times she was totally confused, but dancing is in her blood and her body knows how to move with confidence and grace. i had the time of my life. sister N and sister M were dancing with me on the side. the drums were beating so loudly that i got lost and thought i was back in uganda. i felt like i was home, surrounded by family. the drumming and dancing was powerful, and i felt myself come alive from somewhere deep inside. i almost cried at one point, watching sister L feel at home and i know that if she can get into this dance troupe, it's going to do something for her that i cannot. she needs to be surrounded by this community family and keep this very important connection in her life. i don't know what the criteria for getting accepted into the troupe is. sister L was definitely one of the younger participants in the workshop. i feel nervous and excited, but i'm doing my best to play it cool. whatever happens, we will maintain our support of this troupe and find more ways to be involved and grow our family with positive influences and love, while also seeking out ties to africa, and uganda. 

this is what happens when you adopt, suddenly your family expands... and not just with the children you adopt, but with remaining birth family members, friends in birth countries, and the friends we make here at home as we seek out support for our children. on the ride home from the workshop, i thought about wilson. what will we do for him, for his ties to his birth country? how much more will our family grow? we are lucky to have met some wonderful people adopting the same time we are and we will continue to seek to grow our family here as we support wilson and surround him with love. how lucky we are indeed to grow our family in such a beautiful way.

magical words today!

we were submitted! hooray!

another child ready for school

today we took sister M to visit her kindergarten teacher... she was shy but oh so curious.

i caught myself thinking about what a wonderful teacher the kindergarten teacher is, how thankful i am that sister M gets to start her school career here, and i felt a small sense of loss for wilson. he will likely start first grade after coming home and i know what a struggle that was for sister L. every child should be able to transition to school with kindergarten. of course you can work out half days or some other schedule, but kindergarten should be a rite of passage for all children. it is the perfect mix of new things, fun things, learning and playing, all designed to prepare children for the long days of school that lie ahead without the actual stress of a full day. we cannot get wilson home fast enough... we love you sweet boy.