i've thought a lot about having a child who is HIV+. i've thought about whether we would disclose or not. i think silence hurts. it might be easier, much easier in certain instances, but in the long run it hurts. it adds to the social stigma surrounding HIV+ status and i don't want to be a part of that. i'm not going to be shouting it from the rooftops, but i certainly don't want to make my son feel like he has to hide any part of himself, like he is less than anyone else, or have talks about not telling people parts of our lives. i don't want our family or friends to be a part of any secrets, that's not the kind of person i am.
in exchange for building my son up, helping him grow strong physically and emotionally, i realize others will try to tear him down. i will not be surprised if we lose a friend here or there as we journey to bring wilson home. it will be sad, but not surprising. and that in itself is the saddest part of all, that i expect it. adoption changes people, this i know. your soul is stretched in ways you never imagined. i am a different person, a better person, having been through the life experiences brought to me through adoption. i have no doubt i will grow and my soul will stretch again. this time though, this time i feel a need to really build up our village. i want to surround myself with family and friends that will be unwavering in their support of our family and our journey. i need that.
so if you are ready for play dates, shared meals, late night talks, pouring out of heart and soul via email or in person, let me know, and i'll count you in.
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