Monday, July 22, 2013

“Time for some thrilling heroics."

daddy is the unsung hero in our house. he can turn a moonlit bike ride up and down our street into the most rousing adventure, complete with gold coins tumbling through pockets cut on the sly, war ammo rocketing every which way, and portals that open up out of nowhere, all for the sake of hatching dastardly plans with one little boy. he also reveals a pretty slick trick silencing the ever freaky, panic inducing bicycle bell with none other than the mysterious one glove that showed up on his handlebar sometime in the night with nary a trace of its rightful owner. in the midst of it all, i glide up and down the street smiling, thankful to be a part of this moment. i feel the most profound joy, stained with sadness, as i marvel at the magical connection between boys and fathers and long for another little boy to come home. 

i saw this the other day and laughed:  “The worst part of life is waiting. The best part of life is having someone worth waiting for.” i laughed, but then i thought it’s probably true, and i will try to remember it. waiting is indeed so hard for me, the worst part by far. but the flip side to that must surely be the little boy who also waits… and sweet boy, you are definitely one of the best parts of my life.

Wednesday, July 10, 2013

still here...

i know, it's been too long. we are still here. we are still waiting for our little boy. we are still moving forward, though sometimes it seems like the paper chase is forever. we finally got our homestudy in the mail and USCIS confirmation of our file. hopefully our fingerprinting appointment won't be too far out. i'm getting excited. we are ready. for awhile i was worried about work, but things are lining up in such a way that no matter when we get approval to travel, whether it is september-ish or november-ish, it will all work out great. thankful for that small piece to be easy. hoping to get brother c's passport in the mail soon. i'm having dreams of exploring another country with both boys and it makes my heart happy.

if you've had a baby, or adopted before, you know that stage you get to where you want to start buying things for your child. he has a bed, and he has clothes in drawers. i've talked to our doctor and we've thought about all the appointments and things we will need to do when he gets home to get him feeling better and stable. we have plans and specialist contacts. but lately i'm starting to think about the things that always come last in my mind... after all the big things, the necessary things, the medical things. things like bicycles and books, trains and special blankets. things like his own little alligator boots, and cars to race around the floor. this little boy, he already has a big piece of my heart, and i can't wait to hold him in my arms. so i'm still here, but when i'm not busy with six kids in the middle of summertime fun, i'm probably lost in a daydream about a sweet little boy.